Dating a Brazilian woman: 7 things you need to know

7 things you need to know when dating a Brazilian woman and about the Brazilian dating culture:

1. You’ve got her phone number. Now what?
2. What are you going to do with her?
3. Picking her up from home or not?
4. How do I prepare for a date?
5. What do you talk about during the date?
6. Who pays the bill?
7. Lovemaking after the first date?

1. You’ve got her phone number. Now what?

When you want to get together with a Brazilian woman, you’ve asked her for her phone number or you’ve become friends on Facebook.

In the beginning, you should only use the phone number for WhatsApp. In Brazil, it’s perfectly normal to agree to meet with a woman like that, or via Facebook. 

Of course, you can always call, but that shows a Brazilian woman you’re really keen on. It depends on the situation whether that’s a good thing or not.

When do you meet? 

That depends on how you’ve met her and what’s happened. I will discuss the 3 scenarios.

You’ve already kissed
She will pleasantly be surprised when you contact her. Most Brazilian men never get in touch after having kissed a girl.

The three-day rule we know in the west posits that you have to wait three days before sending a message to avoid looking desperate. In Brazil, you have to do the opposite.

You need to get in touch within three days. If you don’t, she will assume you’re not interested.

Or worse; that you are (or have been) messing around with several girls.

To her, this confirms that you’re just as unreliable as the average Brazilian man and that’s something you want to avoid.

You only have her phone number  
Or you’ve become friends with her on Facebook. In that case, it’s important to start sending messages immediately the next day, because you haven’t won her over yet and there are probably more competitors.

Try to arrange a date as soon as possible. 

Remember: the more popular the girl is, the more quickly you have to take action.

If a girl doesn’t immediately jump on your first invitation to meet, you may have to be a little more exciting in your messages. It’s always good to be polite, but don’t be predictable.

Brazilian women are used to that. Especially when your chat has been going on for a few days, it’s good to spice things up a bit.

You are an online match 
Do you have a match on Tinder, Bumble, or Inner Circle? Brazilian women often like to chat first for a while to make sure it’s not just about lovemaking for you.

Therefore, it’s important to avoid erotic statements in the beginning.  

As soon as you’ve won her trust, she will be happy to meet you. For some Brazilian women, this may take a while.

It’s up to you to decide whether or not she’s worth your patience.

2. What are you going to do with her?

That depends on the scenarios above.  

Have you kissed already? Take her to dinner.

Only have her phone number? Take her out for drinks. Keep it simple. If things go well, you can invite her to dinner. 

Online match? Also, invite her for drinks. 

3. Picking her up from home or not?

Some Brazilian women only want to meet if you pick them up from home in a car, cab, or with a motorcycle in good weather.

With most Brazilian women, you can just meet at the spot where you’re going to eat or have drinks.

My advice is to always suggest that you pick her up. This shows that you’re a true gentleman.

If you think about it, this makes sense. 

Especially when you’re meeting at night when it’s dark out, it may be uncomfortable for her to go outside by herself.

Don’t forget that Brazilian women really go all out for a date with make-up, nice clothes and may wear high heels.

The last thing you want is that she’s continuously harassed by other men on her way to your date, as that can be quite common in Brazil.  

4. How do I prepare for a date with a Brazilian woman? 

There are two things you shouldn’t forget.

Dress well
When you take a Brazilian woman to a restaurant, make sure you look well dressed. 

Why?

Davide, a 36-year-old surfer from Rio de Janeiro, once explained it to me in detail. When a Brazilian woman has a date, she does her utmost to look her absolute best. Think of the following:

1. She goes to the gym almost every day.
2. She waxes every other week.
3. She goes to the hairdresser every two weeks.
4. She brushes her teeth and flosses three times a day. See for yourself: Brazilian women always have pearly white teeth. 
5. She regularly buys new clothes and shoes.
6. Finally, she will spend one to two hours doing her make-up, hair, and outfit on the day of the date. 

She will look absolutely perfect.

But be aware of the time, energy and money this has cost. The very least you can do is make sure you look well-groomed and take her to a good restaurant. 

Good things to bear in mind:

1. Brazilian women don’t so much look at the type of clothes you wear, but more at how well-groomed and neat you look. So, iron your shirt and shine your shoes. 
2. As indicated before, it’s not appreciated when a man is overdressed. Brazilian women prefer men who dress manly. Leave the tight pants and sweaters at home. The same is true for pink and purple clothes.
3. If you’re going to a bar for drinks, it’s okay to look a bit less formal. A T-shirt is fine in that case.
4. If your date shows up without make-up and in a simple outfit, that’s a bad sign and she’s open to no more than friendship.

Physical care
More important than your clothes, it’s vital that you smell good. Or:

1. Take a shower before you step out the door.
2. Wear clean clothes.
3. Wear cologne, but don’t exaggerate. Brazilian women mainly want to smell your fresh body. 

Don’t underestimate how important your body odor is in Brazil.

I know a story of a Frenchman from São Paulo who had the dirty habit of not showering every day. He looked like a supermodel, but in his first two years in Brazil he had a hard time picking up Brazilian women. It drove him crazy, until a Brazilian woman told him he smelled really bad and should really do something about it. After this tip, the Frenchman showered at least twice a day. As a result, he simply became irresistible to Brazilian women.

5. What do you talk about during the date? 

Nearly all Brazilian women complain that Brazilian men are shallow. Both young and old, they all desire a man who knows how to keep a good conversation going.

So, this is your chance to positively distinguish yourself from Brazilian men. 

Tips

1. Show that you’ve got wide interests. 
2. Unless she brings them up, avoid political topics. Brazil has been struggling with corrupt politicians for years, making this a sensitive subject. 
3. The same is true of religion. Most Brazilian women are religious. If you’re not, this may lead to unpleasant discussions. It’s best to say you’re agnostic if you don’t believe in the existence of God. Never say that you’re an atheist unless your name is Ricky Gervais.
4. Don’t talk about your exes too much. They will certainly ask if you’ve got any prior experience with Brazilian women. If you do, it’s wise to play this down as much as possible. 
5. If you aren’t staying in Brazil long, don’t elaborate on exactly how long. For some Brazilian women, however, it doesn’t matter that you’ll be leaving soon and they will simply enjoy the moment. 
6. Give them compliments. Brazilian women love this. There are pick-up coaches who swear it’s better to neg women a little in the beginning, but in Brazil, it definitely works better to give them compliments. 
7. Show an interest in her life, ambitions, and dreams. Motivate her to strive for these dreams and ambitions. They’re not used to Brazilian men doing this. 
8. Don’t make any erotic remarks, unless she’s clearly fishing for them.
9. Suggest a next date to see if she likes you. For instance, if she tells you that she’s into rock music, just like you, suggest going to a concert. 
10. Let her know that family is very important to you. This is also true for Brazilian women. Family comes first for them. 
11. Make her feel like you’ve got your affairs in order and you know what you want in life.

6. Who pays the bill? 

In Brazil, it’s a rule that the man pays for everything on the first date. It doesn’t matter if the girl is rich or poor. If you don’t pay, a Brazilian woman will consider this a direct insult.

You are courting her so the bill is yours. End of discussion.

During the following dates, the person who makes the most money usually pays the bill. In most cases, this will be the Western man, because our salaries are much higher than in Brazil. 

There are exceptions to this rule:

1. Emancipated women: because they like to be independent.  
2. Dark-skinned women: because otherwise, they feel that they are being bought.

7. Lovemaking after the first date?

Usually, kissing is expected at the end of a fun first date. But often it goes no further than that. A Brazilian woman won’t sleep with you until after a few successful dates. 

Naturally, there are exceptions to this rule, but it’s highly unusual for a girl to sleep with you on the first date. Especially when she’s got serious intentions.

Should you wait for two, three or four dates? How do I know when she’s ready?

She will let you know. Brazilian women are known for being very clear about what they want. During your date, she’ll give you plenty of hints. 

Brazilian women also enjoy charming Western men and having control over the situation, something they don’t get to do with the dominant Brazilian men.